Reviewed by Muthoni Mwangi

Introduction: About the Book

Published in 2021, Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad is a bold and provocative collection of short stories by Nigerian author Damilare Kuku. The anthology delves into the chaotic and often hilarious dating experiences of Lagosian women, exploring themes of love, deception, ambition, and power. Each story offers a sharp, witty, and sometimes scandalous take on modern relationships, with Kuku’s storytelling balancing humor and heartbreak in equal measure.

With 256 pages, the book is an easy and engaging read, though its themes of sexuality and complex relationships make it most suitable for adult readers (18+). The writing is conversational and fast-paced, making it accessible to a wide audience, whether seasoned readers or casual book lovers.

Book Review

A Confident, Unapologetic Voice

What stands out most in this book is Damilare Kuku’s sassy confidence and her refusal to tiptoe around female sexuality. She writes with a fearless sensuality, breaking away from the more reserved attitudes often associated with African storytelling. The way she thanks her mother; “the backbone that never breaks” with a depth that only her mother tongue can capture, speaks to a woman deeply rooted in her culture yet unafraid to challenge societal norms.

Kuku’s voice echoes the fearless feminism of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, but with an unapologetic rawness that makes it clear she is her own person. While Adichie’s works are measured and focus on the broader, often academic exploration of gender and power, Kuku is more interested in the everyday scandals of city life, the messy relationships, the hypocrisy of tradition, and the complex web of ambition and romance.

Interestingly, Kuku also infuses religion into her stories only to mix it with some of the kinkiest, most explicit sexual encounters in Nigerian literature. This contrast, between piety and pleasure, between holiness and hedonism, makes her stories feel both rebellious and oddly familiar. In Lagos, where pastors are as powerful as politicians and where morality is often performative, her characters expose the cracks in these societal expectations.

The anthology’s structure is unconventional, and at times, the disjointedness of the stories can be jarring. But perhaps that is the point! Love, like Lagos, is chaotic, unpredictable, and, as Kuku suggests, often completely mad.

Are the Women Any Less Mad? A central question lingers throughout the book: If nearly all the men in Lagos are mad, are the women truly any saner?

Kuku doesn’t paint women as mere victims of Lagosian madness. Instead, she presents them as active players in a game where no one is truly innocent. Some women are gold diggers, others are romantics turned cynics, and some are just as manipulative as the men they accuse. The result is a cast of characters who feel real, not because they are always likable, but because they are deeply flawed.

There is a thrilling honesty in Kuku’s portrayal of modern relationships that forces us to confront uncomfortable truths: Do we sometimes accept deceit because it is easier than being alone? How much of love is real, and how much is performance? And in a city where everyone is hustling, does true love even exist, or is it just another transaction?

The 12 Stories & Themes – a very personal take..

1. Cuck Up

Muju, the watch thief, steals the show in this story. The irony of how he is forced to return the watch, juxtaposed against how Isi is judged despite her sacrifices, is striking. When she finally sheds self-blame and shame, her words “Tell them.” carry a sense of triumph.

A standout quote:

“How much does your dream cost?” (Pg. 19)

2. The Gigolo from Isale Eko

Iggy is the ultimate Lagos bad boy, charming, strategic, and always a step ahead. From acquiring an American passport to shifting identities depending on opportunity, he plays the game masterfully. The real question: do the women know they are with an Iggy, or does he truly deceive them?

3. The Anointed Wife

Marriage and religion as business ventures, this story lays it bare. The contrast between the protagonist’s initial holiness and the later introduction of explicit eroticism is both jarring and rebellious. Lines like “Let us go and celebrate the Lord in bed” challenge traditional piety in a way that is unmistakably Kuku.

4. International Relations

Here, the book earns its title. Shike has her checklist of ideal Oyibo men; none of whom fit the bill. The phrase that had me in stitches:

“Andrew, only witches cross their legs this way. Free me!” (Pg. 66)

5. ODE-PUS Complex

A clever play on Oedipus Complex, this story explores mother-son relationships and the battle for boundaries. When Uche’s mother lays out their so-called lanes, Jide rejects them outright, forcing a shift in the power dynamic. Kuku’s wit is sharp here, this is storytelling with a knowing smirk.

6. A Lover’s Vendetta

The recurring mention of a clean white shirt in Lagos (pg. 107) feels symbolic. Ebuka, with his impractical obsession with tidiness, becomes a metaphor for unrealistic ideals; whether about love, life, or gender roles.

7. First Times

This story explores various “firsts” from losing virginity to experiencing an orgasm. Idris and his wandering eye make me wonder: is his behavior a personality flaw or something beyond his control?

8. Catfish

A tale of betrayal wrapped in explicit sex scenes, this story warns: never assume your best friend won’t steal your man- because she might. The hapless Don is proof that some men let their small heads do all the thinking.

9. Side Lined

The classic story of the other woman, the mistress who refuses to accept her reality. Her dramatic fainting spell upon meeting Oddy and his pregnant wife underscores the power play in relationships. Oddy’s statement “I never lied because you never asked.” is brutal in its honesty.

10. Beard Gang

A beard is, in LGBTQ+ slang, a woman who helps a gay man maintain the appearance of heterosexuality. This story’s title is fitting as it explores the complexities of sexuality and societal expectations.

11. I Knew You…

What is marriage, really? A necessity for raising children? A safety net? A social construct we’re unsure how to escape? This story questions the very foundation of romantic commitment.

12. Independence Day

Osariemen reclaims her voice and her power, calling out her rapist Charles Adesulune in a public reckoning. His reaction? He runs. Her words “I’m now ready to talk about what you did to me.” carry the weight of survival, justice, and closure.

“Why are you running?” she asks.

And just like that, she takes back control of her narrative, and her life,  I expect. Truly, independent day.

Final Thoughts: About the Author and Context

Damilare Kuku is a Nigerian writer, actress, and filmmaker, and Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad is her debut book. Set in contemporary Lagos, her stories capture the vibrant, chaotic, and often ruthless nature of modern relationships in Nigeria’s megacity.

The book is ideal for readers who enjoy contemporary African literature with a mix of humor, romance, and social commentary. The explicit sex scenes however mean the book needed to come with a reader advisory.

My take is that Kuku was smartly focused on making sure her book sells, and it did.

As to whether this is the truth, some of it may feel scandalous, exaggerated even. But for those who have lived and loved in Lagos, and similar cities, it might just hit a little close to home.